Thursday 14 July 2011

Choose Your Own Ending


There’s a piano by the seaside at the water’s edge,
And an existential carpet on a ski-slope sledge.

There’s an out-of-tune banana which is over-ripe,
And a talentless pretender who believes his hype.

There’s a diplodocus catfish on at gas mark ten,
And a cheap asthmatic wardrobe who’s in charge again.

There’s a Philostrate conundrum with a bish-bash-bosh,
And a telepathic lamb-chop saying, “Oh, my gosh!”

There’s a hudabrastic cock-up due to mince-meat legs,
And an over-active chicken stealing all those eggs.

There’s an asystolic apple with an eye for fame,
And a homonymic lamp-post which is quite aflame,

Who and why before and after during this or that,
If you don’t believe this nonsense then I’ll eat my hat/
                                                                                 your cat/
                                                                                 her flat/
                                                                                 our gnat/
                                                                                 whose bat?/
                                                                                 oh, drat!/
                                                                                 kersplat!/
                                                                                 er, that’s that…

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